Betwixt the Stirrup and the Ground
by Subtlynice
Summary: The last battle is always the worst. Jasper faces a new fear as he fights Victoria's army of newborns with Alice by his side. Jasper/Alice one-shot. Eclipse missing moment.


A/N: I've been promising this fic for a long time. Jasper is one of my favourite characters (okay, okay, I know I say that about every Cullen, but it's all true!) and the fight in Eclipse was a big moment for him. Plus, I love Jasper and Alice so much. Enjoy!

The last battle is always the worst. Jasper faces a new fear as he fights Victoria's army of newborns with Alice by his side. Jasper/Alice one-shot.

* * *

"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground,

Mercy I asked; mercy I found."

_– _William Camden

_

* * *

Left. Forward._

_Anticipate. Lunge. Block. Forward. Back. Grab. Snap. Crush._

_I can't see her. With one newborn to my left and another at my back, I can't find the one person I'd sworn not to let out of my sight._

_My fighting skills are rusty. I remember a time when fighting was all I knew. It was all I lived for. The battlefield was my first love – my only love for two-hundred years. It was my comfort. The snap of a neck was better than the brush of a lover's hand. The scars I collected meant more to me than any woman I'd claimed. Fighting was my obsession – the glory of war, my orgasmic prize._

_Hatred, fear and adrenaline – these three sensations always felt, always amplified by those around me. It was a heady combination._

_Until one day, when the blissful ignorance of my destruction began to fade. Until I started to search further, dig deeper, to discover exactly who and what I had become._

_And now, a deeper love holds me too anxious and on edge to be concerned with fighting._

_Alice._

**...**

Dawn had risen early from her bed this morning. As if she herself were eagerly anticipating the carnage we would soon deliver. Eos with her rosy fingers, bringing light and warmth forth, ushering Helios forth and shooing away the cold, bitter night as she did. She took her place in the sky, waiting and watching – scowling as the clouds blocked her view. The clouds were always an eager spectator to the goings-on in Forks.

And what a spectacle they would soon be witness to.

Alice was bouncing. Literally bouncing through every step she took.

"It's all rather exciting," she'd all-but-sung, pulling me into her arms as she adjusted my collar. "Learning how to fight, I mean. Not that you haven't already taught me more than enough times, but this is different. I'll actually have an attacker now. Lots of attackers. An army, like the past you've always talked about. And – "

"Alice, calm down."

She was jittery. Her nerves were strung tight, and she knew that I knew. Her excitement was sparring with her fear, hours before the real battle had even begun.

"I'm fine," she assured me. "Really. Just nerves is all. And... I've never actually killed another of our kind before."

The thought of Alice – my chipper, optimistic Alice – driven to kill made me shudder. Killing humans was something we'd all gone through once – and in my case, many, many more times. But killing our own kind... it wasn't an easy, thoughtless task. It required an actual force. It changed people in a different way. I knew that better than anyone.

"Alice, when I taught you how to fight, I didn't anticipate that you would ever have to use those skills," I told her. "And you're good... you're magnificent, but – "

She slapped her hand across my mouth.

"Uh, uh, uh." She shook her head furiously. "Don't you go and pull a Bella on me. I'm fighting, same as everybody else. I'm needed – and don't tell me I'm not, because you said it yourself. I'm _magnificent_."

She smirked at that – teasing me. I loved her smile. I'd never seen anybody smile in quite the same way. When Alice smiled, she didn't just part her lips and grin. First her mouth twitched up on one side, as if it could predict the expression that it was about to form. Then, ever so slowly, the other side joined in, and for a moment her two lips shared a private joke, both raised, but still hiding, not quite letting go. And then her mouth opened fully and the joke spread to her cheeks and her eyes and her little pointed chin.

It really was magnificent.

Too special to lose. And whether she won her battles or not, I would lose her. Killing our kind changed us. She wouldn't be the same after tonight.

She would become like me.

"Of course you're fighting," I said. "But just remember to be careful, please? This isn't a party, Alice. These aren't games. These troops will be fighting to kill you. You can anticipate their moves, but – "

**...**

_Be careful. Be careful. For God's sake, Alice, be careful._

_I see her now, flitting about, darting this way and that. She seems to move with the flames. A precarious element, never soothed, never tamed. Just when she seems to settle, her eyes spark with mischief and she is off again. She has fire in her golden eyes._

_And just like the fire, she is unpredictable. She moves where the wind takes her._

_At this moment, the wind is fierce and howling._

_Another newborn comes up behind me. For an inexperienced, untrained army, these soldiers do have brains, I'll give them that. The smaller newborns are staying away. They learnt quickly not to pick a fight with me. Only the strong ones come near me now._

_The man behind me is strong, but clumsy. As he lunges, I duck, and his massive, lumbering form ends up sprawled across the ground before me. I take the opportunity to disable him, glancing around wildly as I do._

_Where is she?_

**...**

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself," I finished with a wry smile.

She shook her head, laughing at me still. "Jasper, you know I don't intend to keep that promise. Entering willingly into a trap like the one Victoria has laid for us isn't exactly acting _carefully_."

I glared at her. "You know what I mean. You can fight, yes, but don't slip up. One mistake is all it takes, Alice. And I'm not going to lose you tonight. You have to promise me that."

Something about my words hit home in Alice's heart. Her face fell as sorrow washed through her emotions. She studied me curiously, unable to keep herself from pitying the terror she saw in my eyes.

"Okay," she whispered.

"You promise?"

She narrowed her pretty yellow eyes, but nodded all the same. I wondered if she'd honour this promise on the battlefield. Doubtful. With her family and myself to fight for, I knew she wouldn't back down easily.

"Are you okay?" she asked me. "I've never seen you so tense before. And it's not because of the battle. I know that."

She was wrong. It was because of the battle. I wasn't scared of the newborns I knew we could beat. I was confident that our plans for tonight would be successful. I wasn't even worried about what would happen once Victoria entered the fray. I knew that I was a better fighter than she could ever dream to become.

But I _was_ afraid of what would happen afterwards. During the fallout. I'd made peace with my family – they were so considerate and welcoming, so very different to the people from the life I'd led before. I didn't want them to be subjected to the same torments I'd endured in the South. I didn't want Carlisle to resort to murder. I didn't want Esme to witness such anguish. And I definitely did not want Alice to see firsthand the horror I'd inflicted in the past.

If I could, I'd be everywhere at once. I'd make sure Alice was safe. I'd stop Alice's – _my_ – family from coming to harm. I'd keep an eye on the werewolves I still didn't entirely trust.

I knew I couldn't do it. I knew that whatever I did, it would never be enough.

But that didn't mean I couldn't try.

**...**

_Try. All I can do is try. But it's not good enough. It'll never be good enough. I was trained to fight, trained to win. I was trained to kill. I was never trained to protect._

_And it's hard. Protecting Alice is much harder than killing her foes._

_She's back again. Fighting a young boy. He's taller than she is, but he's not well built – even with a vampiric physique this boy is skinny and weak. Victoria must have chosen many of these boys – street urchins nobody would report missing._

_The boy lunges. I swing my fist into my nearest attacker, and hear the crunch of bones as it makes its mark. I don't stop to inflict further damage. I break free and I'm by her side in an instant._

_Fear and relief curdle in my stomach. I was too late to kill the boy, but she's fine. She's handled it._

_And now she notices me._

"_Jazz, back off!" she yells, her eyes flashing in fury as she ducks away from me yet again, throwing one elbow back to smash into the face of an oncoming newborn._

_I ignore her and rip the said newborn's head off instead. The man had been big and beefy. His head is hard enough to dispose of, and his other limbs are no easier to remove. By the time I've thrown the soldier's torso into the nearest flame, she's disappeared from my sight again._

"_Alice!" I yell. A small body collides with me from behind, but it's not her. The scent is very different. This is a young girl, fourteen, maybe fifteen. She's the first of Victoria's troops that I haven't been able to think of as part of an army. She doesn't look like a soldier. She's not strong, not self-assured. She's not happy. She's not even angry . This one, Victoria has not indoctrinated as flawlessly as the others. She doesn't want to be here._

_The girl trembles, taking a step back. She shakes her head, muttering incomprehensibly under her breath. She tries to curl her hand into a fist, but her clumsy fingers are shaking too erratically._

_I pause. I can't kill her._

_For some inexplicable reason, I can't do it. I've killed younger girls. I've fought weaker enemies._

_But she is different._

_She is terrified._

_And I am the cause of her fear._

_I can't do it. I won't._

_I've failed anyway. My family have all killed. They have killed many. I lunge and she leaps back, still afraid. Carlisle is there. Death at Carlisle's hands would be merciful._

_I know it is cruel. Carlisle will feel the pang of guilt worse than I will. But as she scarpers off in his direction, all I can feel is relief._

_And then fear._

_Alice is still missing._

**...**

"Now, this is a very important decision, and I would like your expertise opinion on the matter," Alice said seriously.

I nodded, still gazing up at the ceiling, wondering...

"Jazz?"

I looked down. Two identical tank tops met my eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Which one, do you think?"

"I don't know, Alice. Isn't this supposed to be _your_ area of expertise?"

"Well, usually, yes. But I'll be fighting today. It's hardly fashion I'm worried about. Which one of these would be more suitable for me to wear while I'm ripping some oaf's head off?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her words. Of course, Alice would consider everything. From fighting gear to arrangements for a wedding still to be confirmed. She thought of everything.

She smiled too, and I could tell that she hadn't really wanted my opinion at all – she was only trying to lighten the mood. I wished I could explain this to her. Explain that no matter how well prepared she usually was, she could never be ready for the evening's events.

Her face fell seconds before my laugh faded – she was ahead of her time even now.

"Jazz?" she asked me tenderly. "Jazz? Are you okay? Will you be okay today?"

**...**

_I've found her again._

_She's purposely evading me now – fighting more dangerous foes, just to prove herself to me. Silly, confident girl that she is, she's fighting three soldiers at once, laughing as they hiss and snap their teeth at her._

_I cut in, luring a blonde female away from Alice's side. I flash her a dark glare as I pass._

_She sneers at me, still riled up, and I know I should leave, but I just can't. I know I should be fighting my own battles, but my heart is telling me to fight hers too._

_And then Alice's sneer vanishes, to be replaced with an expression of absolute horror. Behind me, two hands grasp below my shoulders firmly, weighing me down and trapping my arms. I try to kick back, only to be met with air. This newborn is quick. Perhaps even talented._

_At first, there is nothing. I am trapped in complete stillness._

_Then the woman's breath hits my nostrils, inching closer towards my neck..._

_I close my eyes._

**...**

"I'm fine," I told her. "I'll be fine. You just remember everything I've taught you."

Alice nodded. Then she smiled again – in that same beautiful way she always did. The tense atmosphere we'd been treading around instantly melted. The mood was playful again.

"Will you do something for me in return?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes dangerously.

"Anything, ma'am," I replied with a wink, trying my best to appear unaffected by her charms.

She rested her little hand on my cheek.

"This is my dear husband. He's very stubborn, fiercely protective and quite foolhardy, but also extremely handsome and I love him nonetheless." Her smile faded as she looked up at me, all jokes aside, replaced with seriousness. "Look after him for me, won't you Mr. Whitlock? You keep my husband nice and safe."

**...**

"_Jasper!"_

_I hear her cry just moments before the teeth pierce my skin. The soldier behind me has good aim, I'll grant her that. The bite was just a fraction off from where I'd place it. A few inches from the jugular; not too close to the shoulder, but not too high either. Nice one. If I'd hesitated for a fraction of a second longer, my head would be rolling on the floor beside me._

_Luckily, I'm not prone to hesitation. Act first, think later. Her grip on my biceps has weakened as she bites down in triumph, and I make use of this new opportunity – I grab the mop of straggly blonde hair and heave the woman over my shoulder to land in front of me. The flip throws her off balance and she breaks away from my skin with a snarl._

_She lands at the feet of the one person I've been trying to keep these creatures away from._

_But Alice does not hesitate either. She rips the woman's head from her shoulders before I have even taken my first step in their direction. Her eyes are blazing again – with hatred. Revulsion. Anger._

_I have felt many emotions from Alice over the past fifty years. But never this. Never have I felt her so angry. So scared. It terrifies and angers me, too._

"_Alice," I whisper._

_And she is by my side, wrapped in my arms, kissing the bite on my neck, kissing my cheek, kissing my lips – _

_A new bite to my left arm pulls me from my daze. We break away from our foolish embrace. Relief and passion will come later. For now, this war is not yet over._

**...**

We made love in the early morning light.

Alice shone. A goddess above me, clothed in nothing but wrapped in mystery. Loveliness and goodness, hope and delight, all tangled in those features I so loved – her spiky hair and button nose and gleaming eyes.

No, she was not a goddess – she was too real to be that. Alice was more like a mortal, reaching for glory to rival that of the gods. Like Arachne the weaver, so gifted in her craft that it is only right to boast.

A gentle hand brushed its way across my skin, tracing the contours she knew better than I myself did. Her lips soon followed, plotting a seemingly random path across my body, as I explored the same familiar territory of her mouth and her skin with equal reverence.

And so she weaved, threading me irrepressibly into her loom.

Spinning. Spinning. Spinning.

**...**

_She keeps spinning._

_Like a dancer, trained in lethal grace. She weaves through them all, one step ahead of the rest, forever dancing to a note nobody else has yet heard. Down they go at her hand, down before they even begin to process her attack._

_Magnificence._

**...**

The sun continued to rise. Ever rising, never straying from the inexorable future. We were not alone and we could not alter the path Alice saw us heading towards.

We were running out of time.

**...**

_The fire is still burning._

_The Volturi have long since departed. The werewolves have slunk silently back to their territory. Carlisle and Edward have followed them, tending to Jacob Black – the boy with the broken bones and a broken heart._

_The scared little girl both Carlisle and I both showed mercy to is now ash. The Volturi saw to that._

_We are solemn victors, the few of us who stay behind to wipe away the remaining traces of our foes. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and I. Even Emmett does not smile in triumph. We have destroyed our last enemy, yes. We are safe now. But no good has come of today._

_A small hand wraps around my own. I squeeze it gently._

"_I wish I could erase this night from your mind forever," I admit. "Tabula rasa. Wipe today's slate clean."_

_Alice pulls her hand away abruptly. She feels shocked. Betrayed._

"_You know I wouldn't let you. I've lost enough of my memories. I don't intend to forget a single second of tonight."_

_Remorse. I had forgotten to think my words through. Alice knows more about herself now than she had before, thanks to James' foolish boasting moments before his death. But she still can't _remember_ any of her human past. She feels no connection to the sister she wishes she could remember. She has no recollection of the man from the asylum, the vampire I will forever be indebted to for saving her life._

_She shouldn't have to forget her past. But there are past events in her life that I wish had never occurred._

_I want to tell her that I understand. But I cannot and will not take back my words._

"_I'm sorry."_

_The words are a poor substitute for what I mean to express. But she understands, as always, the consolation I am searching for._

"_I don't dwell on the past, Jasper. You know that. I like to look towards the future."_

"_I can't help but dwell on the past."_

_She tugs me towards her, fingering each of my new wounds. "I know that, too."_

"_I don't want you to forget," I whisper. "But I'm afraid of what you'll remember."_

_She looks up at me again, hope and trust and excitement flowing uncontained from her body to mine, so strong and free that I could scarcely tell which emotion belonged to whom._

"_I remember everything of importance. When I look back on tonight, I'll remember you."_

**...**

It was time.

The others were getting restless. I knew they would all be waiting for me. I would make my way downstairs, become the general I had been once before. Make the preparations and mark out our strategies. And my family would follow like puppets, because they thought that I knew best.

Tactics. Procedures. Defences.

None of it meant anything to me anymore. I could regard Victoria's followers as just another army, but I could never think of my family as soldiers. I could never issue them commands. Not Esme. Not Edward.

Not Alice.

She kissed me once more, slowly brushing her lips across mine, as if she were as unwilling for this moment of ours to end as I was.

"We have to get ready," I whispered against her lips.

"We have two minutes, forty-seven seconds to spare," she countered, stubbornly. "And I want to spend them like this."

I grinned. "Whatever you say."

We kissed, whispered, laughed softly to each other. There were no real words involved. Just meaningless whispered breaths against each other's skin. A perfect, endless moment.

And then a voice from downstairs broke through my thoughts.

"Jasper?"

I sighed and pulled away, rising to my feet. Alice was right yet again, and it looked like our last two minutes, forty-seven seconds of seclusion were up.

I looked back towards her.

"Take care," I reminded her sternly. "I know you're good, and I know you love Bella, but I don't want to see you trying to take on Victoria single-handedly. Alright?"

She seemed to sense the real fear that lay behind my words, and reached up to press one last kiss against the corner of my mouth.

"You won't lose me tonight," she whispered in my ear before we parted. "You won't lose me. You won't lose yourself."

**...**

_Our hands entwine. Blood and venom are clotted in tendrils of her fine black hair, but no matter. She's never looked more beautiful. She's never reminded me more of the strange little girl I met in Philadelphia, one cold stormy day. Her mouth draws closer, whispering words of comfort against my skin._

"_You haven't lost me yet. You won't lose me, not ever."_

_And she knows, as she always does, the words to relieve me of my fear._

**...**

~Fin_.  
_

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A/N: Let Jasper and Alice know you love them by leaving me a review!


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